Dear Fandom:

For crying out loud, people, I can’t go anywhere these days without seeing one of you cranky-pants whining about how long it’s taking Scott Lynch to write the third book in his Gentleman Bastard series, or shaking your digital fist at Patrick Rothfuss because he’s, IDK, having a conversation with his wife instead of writing, writing, writing, omgwritingggg!!! And George R.R. Martin… well, how he even dares to draw a breath anymore is beyond me.

Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Amazon, blogs. You are everywhere, and you won’t shut up about how these writers OWE YOU and you CAN’T WAIT, and WHY AREN’T THEY WRITING DON’T THEY KNOW WE ARE WAITING, I SAW A PICTURE OF HIM SCRATCHING HIS EAR, HOW DARE HE STOP TO SCRATCH HIS EAR!?

It’s awesome that you love their work, but listen, it’s no fun being in your company as a fellow fan. Can’t you just wait it out and enjoy the work as it comes? Oh, shut up, you totally can. I waited for Stephen King’s entire Dark Tower series over the course of 22 years (that’s right, twenty two), you can wait out the five or so years it has taken Tad Williams to finish Shadowmarch.

Go to the library and find something else to read!

Best,

k